Early spring in Chicago can bite with a lingering chill, especially when the wind whips off the lake. Barely six months into our marriage, on just such a morning in March, my husband innocently asked if I’d be willing to swap my pajamas for sweatpants and drive him downtown for a meeting. Time was of the essence, my schedule was flexible, and my car was conveniently parked.
But, nestled in my cozy pajamas, engrossed in a book and savoring my coffee, the thought of wrestling with downtown traffic was thoroughly unappealing. “Why don’t you just take the bus?” I suggested, perhaps a little too casually.
Looking up from my page, I saw a flicker of something unexpected in his eyes – a hint of sadness, a touch of disappointment. My words hung in the air. I suddenly remembered countless times he’d rearranged his own plans, gone out of his way to do thoughtful things for me. Moments later, he quietly headed out the door, down the stairs, and towards the bus stop. The rest of my day at home was draped in a heavy cloud of guilt. Frankly, I was shocked by my own selfishness, particularly directed at the very man I had pledged to love and cherish just months before. This small moment felt like a significant bump in the road, a moment where our individual desires clashed on the Bus Where Souls Collide in marriage.
The Mystical Math of Marriage: One Plus One Equals One
Marriage: it’s advertised as a beautiful journey, and it truly is. But like any journey, especially one taken together, there are unexpected turns and occasional bumps. When you say “I do,” you embark on an incredible adventure, a profound merging where two people endeavor to become one. And this unity extends far beyond the physical, although that aspect is undeniably important.
There’s a deep, spiritual connection forged when two souls intertwine in marriage. It’s a bond that’s both mystical and immensely powerful. A husband and wife hold the potential to inspire the very best in each other, and, conversely, to inadvertently provoke the absolute worst. This concept of “oneness” isn’t about erasing individuality; it’s about synergy. Each partner retains their unique identity, yet together, they unlock the potential to become something greater than they could ever achieve alone. It’s a seemingly paradoxical equation, but within the framework of marriage, the whole can genuinely become exponentially greater than the sum of its individual parts. Think of it as navigating life’s journey together, sometimes on the same bus where souls collide, learning to move in harmony even when personal routes diverge.
After over three decades of marriage, I’ve learned a fundamental truth: in my relationship, consistently prioritizing my own needs and tending to my husband only when it suits me isn’t just detrimental to him; it ultimately harms me as well.
We are a team, a unified entity. We are one. Together, we’ve scaled incredible heights of joy and weathered wrenchingly difficult storms. When I consciously set aside my inherent selfishness and place my husband’s needs first, and when he reciprocates by reaching out to support me, it benefits us both profoundly. Helping each other reinforces our teamwork, strengthens our unity, and solidifies our “oneness.” It’s about ensuring our shared bus where souls collide is heading in a mutually desired direction.
Conversely, selfishness acts like a corrosive agent, eroding our relationship and driving wedges between us. Selfish actions prevent us from experiencing the deep intimacy, the profound oneness, the divine purpose, and the immeasurable joy that marriage is designed to offer.
Renowned author and theologian John Piper eloquently captures this sentiment: “Husbands and wives, recognize that in marriage you have become one flesh. If you live for your private pleasure at the expense of your spouse, you are living against yourself and destroying your joy. But if you devote yourself with all your heart to the holy joy of your spouse, you will also be living for your joy and making a marriage after the image of Christ and His church.” This speaks volumes about the intertwined destinies on this shared bus where souls collide.
Your Marriage Journey: What Route Will You Take?
That chilly Chicago morning, I undeniably missed the mark. And with honesty, I admit there have been numerous other instances where selfishness has clouded my actions towards my husband. We’ve both stumbled, apologized, and extended forgiveness countless times. That’s the reality of life, and particularly, life shared on the bus where souls collide in marriage.
But thankfully, we’ve also navigated many moments beautifully. We’ve seized countless opportunities to set aside personal comfort and convenience, to lay down our egos and genuinely care for each other. Each selfless act has fortified our bond, making us a stronger team, more resilient partners on this journey together. Our love has deepened, becoming more robust and enduring. We are, without a doubt, two distinct individuals, and far from perfect. Yet, unequivocally, we are better together than apart. Our shared bus where souls collide, despite the occasional bumps, is moving forward.
So, consider your own marriage journey.
What elements cultivate a sense of “oneness” in your relationship? Are there specific patterns that create distance between you and your spouse? What selfless action could you consciously take this week to strengthen your marriage?
Have you assessed the dynamics of your marriage recently? Take our free Marriage Quiz to gain valuable insights.
Further Reading for a Stronger Union: Grow Closer Spiritually with These Six Ideas | 10 Simple Ways to Show Your Love Every Day
About the Author
Melody Morris
Melody Morris has shared life’s journey with her husband, Ken, for 35 years. Together they have raised five young adult children. Melody and Ken are passionate about travel and find joy in cooking together. At Marriage Dynamics Institute, Melody utilizes her experience as a consultant for the A New Beginning workshop, dedicated to supporting marriages in crisis.
